I was speaking with someone recently and we were in heavy debate over who needs their father more. Whether girls needed their fathers in their lives more than boys. The conversation caught me off guard because the fact is children need both parents, regardless of sex. But they were convinced that one child needed that male presence more. Needless to say, the discussion got heated. That’s usually what happens when two very opinionated people share their opposing views. The conversation led me here; to this blog post asking you whether you believe one needs him more than the other. I am even going to go as far as to share the view points. And, you have to pick a side. Ready?
A Father + His Daughter
Her first love. Fathers teach their daughter’s how to love, from their over protective nature to their tough love. They are the first demonstration of how things we hold dear should be handled with care. We’ve all seen those TV shows where the daughter is heading out on her first date and the father is giving the boy a hard time. In some instances, the daughter is embarrassed but she is also grateful that she has a father who has her back. She has her first love to show her who is worth her time and who is not. Her father is there to put fear in the boys, and soon men, that she brings home to treat her with respect. The same respect her demands for her, she will grow to demand for herself.
Her self-esteem. Not only do fathers teach their daughter’s how love should be shown, they also lay the foundation for how she views herself. The hugs they give, the compliments they offer, and the endless amounts of love they displayed all helped to mold her into who she will become. The presence of love from her father is the absence of the need to get that love and validation elsewhere. A father’s love feeds his daughter’s self-esteem; she’s confident because he reassures her of her capabilities and that he’s there to catch her if she falls.
Dr. Meg Meeker
A Father + His Son
His instruction MANual. Fathers are instrumental to their son’s lives; they present the instruction for being a man. They teach them how to dress, how to walk and talk and how to carry themselves in a way that warrants respect. Fathers teach their sons about women in a way that a mother can’t. They show them how to love women, especially their mothers. Fathers mold their sons from a place of relatability, making it easier for them to have an impact.
Facts of life. Fathers are able to teach their sons the facts of life. From their own experience or the experiences of friends, they are able to educate their son about what lies ahead. The father has the potential for monumental impact just off the strength that he is a man himself. A father to a son is more than a giver of life; he is also the preparer.
His strength. Through their own strength, fathers teach their sons to be strong. They show them how to have respect for themselves as well as for others. They demonstrate how a man should carry himself in the varying situations that may arise. They provide a framework for how to be. Fathers teach their sons strength; they help their sons find their strength and live in it.
A Father + The Bottom Line
The bottom line is children in general need their fathers, for their own reasons. But when we look at the impact the father has on a child’s life, it should change the way we choose we have children with. As women, we have to choose men who can give all of these things to our children, whether it’s his daughter or son.
And, now that we’ve laid it out there, tell me which one needs their father more. You can’t answer both, we’ve established that. Based on what you’ve read, what you’ve lived yourself, what you’ve seen in the lives of those around, who needs their father more?
I can’t wait to hear your answers.