“From Girls to Pearls” Etiquette Luncheon

On May 5, 2018 I had a remarkable opportunity to attend the “From Girls to Pearls” Etiquette Luncheon which teaches girls 4-18 table etiquette, proper use of social media, the value of self-worth, and proper dress for different occasions. Qiana Robinson who is part of the Zeta Phi Beta Sorority INC IOTA ZETA Chapter, hosted the event and invited Nyla Denae’ Enterprises (NDE) for the second time. As the representative of NDE, I found the experiences to be impactful on the young ladies who attended as well as myself and my daughter.

As the NDE representative, I facilitated the younger girls (ages 4-7). I have always been drawn to this age group because of my daughter, Nyla Denae’, who is three years old. While Nyla is only three, she was able to partake in the events of the day. Her involvement made it that much more meaningful to me as a mother. I took pleasure in knowing that Nyla Denae’ was getting to experience and learn how to be a confident young lady even at such a young age.

Throughout the day, the young ladies learned the true meaning of friendship and how to be a good friend. One of the activities I engaged the girls in was about bullying called “A Wrinkled Heart”. While some may feel bullying is a harmless rite of childhood, there have been many studies that have shown the harmful effects bullying can have on a child’s education, health, and safety. Designed for younger students, “A Wrinkled Heart” provides students with a powerful visual which shows how words and behaviors can effect someone. The activity is quite simple and a great reminder to everyone to be kind to others. I believe it is vital to our society that young men and women learn how to be kind to one another because of the effects bullying can have on a child.

Bullying Prevention

Educationally when a student is bullied there is a barrier put up between the student and the teacher that the teacher knows nothing about. When a student is bullied, they may have feel sad or angry. Both of these emotions make learning difficult for the child. If a student is sad, they are focused on that feeling alone and are trying to figure out how to pull themselves out of that state of mind. When a student is angry, they tend to be thinking about revenge or retaliation. Anger can cause larger problems such as acting out or being disrespectful to a teacher or a peer.

In terms of health, those who fall victim to a bully can start to see themselves as lesser than or not as deserving as those around them. This may cause a child to disengage from her friends and become lonely. Loneliness can lead to depression which can then spiral into many other issues. This can tie into a student’s safety. Not only is the student emotionally unsafe due to the teasing and ridicule, but they are also physically unsafe. They may be physically unsafe because the bullying has escalated into shoving or hitting or they may be unsafe because her depression has led to thoughts of self-harm.

Wrinkled Heart Activity

If you want to help promote kindness in your household, try the activity mentioned above, “A Wrinkled Heart.” This activity starts with a large heart cut out of a piece of paper. Then, we talk about anything that someone may have said or done to hurt their feelings. For each example a child gives you have students wrinkle or fold the heart. Then after students have talked about the negative experiences they have had, you go back to the positive by asking them what experiences they have had that made them feel good. For every example the student would unfold a piece of the heart they had previously folded. Once students have finished sharing examples, you ask the students how the heart looks. Thinking back to the beginning of the exercise, the heart was smooth. Now that we have wrinkled it with negative words and behaviors there are creases it. The heart, even though people said and did kind things as well,is no longer smooth and those wrinkles are always going to be present. We discussed how the folds are the impacts that harmful words and actions can make on someone’s heart and how those wrinkles never truly go away. This lead to a very meaningful conversation about how to be kind to others.

It’s vital to our society that young men and women learn how to be kind to one another. There are several studies that show how bullying can effect a young person. As mentioned above, bullying can affect a child’s education, health, and safety.

Please refer to Stop Bullying for more information on bullying prevention.

Overall, I feel being a part of this event is a great way to fulfill our mission as an organization which is to “inspire, instill and promote confidence, character development and class into young girls while molding them into the future leaders of tomorrow”. Learning how to be classy young ladies with strong minds is vital to our future. It starts at birth and it is up to us to “educate, empower and equip” these independent ladies with tools to succeed beyond gender barriers.

To learn more about our organization and all the wonderful opportunities we offer please visit us at Nyla Denae’

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